I recently got my first permanent job offer. After several internships, I was glad to transition into a permanent role. However, with this big step, I faced an unexpected challenge.

I had the opportunity to negotiate my salary.

This was a new experience for me. I had imposter syndrome kicking in, starting to doubt and question myself. I consider myself a confident person…. yet I just could not help myself. Do I really deserve a higher salary than what they offered?

I’m not sure if I would have been able to answer this question alone. I was blessed enough to be surrounded by friends, colleagues, and mentors who supported me throughout. In the end? I successfully negotiated my salary for the first time!

I’ll be honest with you. It was really hard. I had to learn (or re-learn) what salary negotiation is and what it isn’t. With the help of others, I had to do some self-reflection to understand what makes this so challenging.

These learnings, insights, lessons, or whatever you want to call them are captured in this blog post. While it might not be relevant to you right now, I hope it will be at some point. I’m sure you will get offered a job, and when that happens, I hope you will be prepared, or at least more prepared than I was.

To help you, I wanted to break down my thoughts on negotiating salaries into 3 sections.

First, I would like to demonstrate its importance. Before getting into the details, I would like to emphasize why everyone should attempt to negotiate their salaries.

Second, I would like to share my own personal experience. Three things where I was wrong and changed my mind about. Insights on what salary negotiation is and is not.

And lastly, I collected hands-on tips, practical strategies, and scripts you can use. It helped me. I hope it will help you too.

If you have read this far already, thank you, I’m grateful for your time.

So let’s get into it.

🛑 Why is it important?

↕️ Because we need to address the pay gap
Let’s start with the argument I feel the strongest about: the pay gap.

I believe two people doing the same jobs should receive the same wage. Simple premise.

However, today that is not the case. Studies have shown that there is a gender and ethnicity pay gap. In other words, there is a significant difference in the wage of men and women; between white people and people of color.

I’m fully aware that this is a complex problem. Systemic issues are driving this inequality. Gender norms, cultural differences, or unconscious bias that we cannot tackle individually. However, there is one action we can all take to close the pay gap: to negotiate our salaries. Especially women and people of color who are statistically less likely to negotiate.

And I get it.

I personally didn’t feel prepared, nor worthy. Especially coming from an ethnic background, I was raised to take the opportunity and keep my mouth shut. However, this is not the same world that my parents lived in. It is time to break the cycle, and I encourage you to do so.

To address this inequality and start to negotiate your salary.

🧗 Because no one will do it for you
A closed mouth doesn’t get fed. Unless you have an agent who takes care of these things - in which case it might be a waste of time for you to read this post - no one will go through the rounds of negotiations for you.

Nobody but you.

It is a dance between you and the company, and they will be ready. They are driven to explore the deal and stretch the boundaries. But if you do not engage in this dance, how do you expect to gain anything?

Because they expect negotiations to happen, companies usually set a lower number to start with. Salaries are set in ranges rather than numbers to account for potential negotiation. You can explore this. Even in those rare cases where companies have tight salaries, it doesn’t hurt to ask.

And if you feel like it’s unfair, I get you. You can blame capitalism if you want, but the truth is that we need to face the true nature of it.

So go for it. I believe in you.

📈 Because the returns are high
The last argument is financial. Negotiating can get you great returns both short- and long-term.

For the short term, the returns are straightforward. Let’s say you’re having two 30 minute calls after you received your offer. An hour of your time. If in this hour you managed to increase your annual salary by $500, your hourly rate is $500. How crazy is that? Fantastic return,  even if that one hour was uncomfortable, maybe it was worth it?

In longer-term (5-10 years), it is easy to forget about compounding.  To demonstrate this, let’s compare two people. They were both offered $10K as the annual salary (I know it’s ridiculous but let me use it to prove a point). The difference is that one of them successfully negotiated the $500 (from the previous story), whereas the other person didn’t. In the first year, one gets $10K, the other $10.5K.

Let's say they are on the same track, getting an increase of 5% of their base salary every year. By the 5th year, the salary difference can be $600 (check the table for the progression)! They would need to ask for an $600 increase just to make it even!

The effect of compounding can easily be underestimated. So do not throw away the opportunity to set the baseline for compounding as high as possible.

🧠 3 things I change my mind about

🫂 I thought I must push away my negative feelings. Now I believe I need to embrace them.
I had so many doubts about negotiation. I felt imposter syndrome kicking in. My doubting inner voices became stronger, echoing that I do not deserve to negotiate. I started to question whether my greed and ego took over. I felt I had no authority because it was me against a company. Who am I to say anything?

I wish I could say some magic words to make these negative feelings vanish. I really wish.

But I can’t.

Because in the end, these feelings reflect one thing: you care. You care about the job offer. You care about joining the company. You care about doing well. And in a weird paradoxical way, the fact that you care mixed with humility leads to these doubting voices about negotiation.

I found only one way to deal with them: to embrace them. Accepting these feelings helped me convert self-doubt into determination to do well and prove my value.

One last thought on this. This change and shift in mindset take time. I hope you’re not reading this article a day before a negotiation. Ideally, I hope you have some time until then, weeks or even months. In that case, I want to plant the seed in your head.

Doubts are fine. They are natural, and everyone has them. It is a sign that you care but don’t let them get in the way of negotiating for your value.

I hope you will start to internalize this now. Then, when you have a job offer in your hand, these seeds will grow into a tree, bearing fruit in successful negotiations.

🤝 I thought I was the only one invested. Now I believe it’s both of us.
During the recruiting process, I felt vulnerable. I was the one who researched and found the company. I was the one who decided to apply. I was the one preparing. All of this while I was constantly evaluated. The whole process felt one-sided. I’m proving myself, and the other side decides to take me on board or not.

This created the old picture of salary offers in my head: after receiving the job offer, it was a sign that I proved myself. I used to think that I’d done everything, and now it’s time to accept and sign. I used to think this.

However, there is another side of the coin. I encourage you to be empathetic and look at the other side.

The effort from the company is also massive. Consider the time and the money (like the wages of the interviewers) spent on finding talent. They need to put great resources to find, select, and keep the best candidate. With a job offer, they are sending a clear message: we believe you are the best person to do this job and would like to keep you.

They are invested as well and you can leverage this. Finding other talents will likely not be easy. They know this. You should too.

I hope you see how this is not one-sided and will use this knowledge to negotiate your salary.

😡 I thought they withdraw my offer because I negotiate salaries. Now I believe that virtually never happens.
Right before my call with the recruiter, I ran through the worst-case scenario that could happen. In my head, I thought that they will take away my offer because I attempted to negotiate my salary. I imagined they will call me out for being greedy and cocky, and that they do not want to work with me. Relatable?

So to find out how much truth lies here, I asked 12 people who negotiated their salaries.

How many people have had their offers withdrawn? 0.
How many people had unsuccessful negotiations? 0.
How many received a raise lower than expected? 7.

With such a small sample size, this study is not that scientific. Nevertheless, let me offer my conclusion: the worst case is not that they will withdraw their offer. They might come back to you with a lower offer than expected. That is it.

Doesn’t that sound so much better?

And finally, just for the sake of a thought experiment, let’s say the worst case happens. They will withdraw the offer because you asked for a $1000 additional annual salary.

Think about that for a second.

A company is being stringent about $1000 on an annual basis. Can you guess how well the business might be performing? And besides the financials, the fact that they withdraw the offer without any communication indicates a horrible work culture.

Is that the place you would want to work for? I certainly wouldn’t.

🧤 Some Practical Tips

📄 Get other offers
The first one is quite obvious. If you have multiple offers, you are more likely to be bold in negotiations. You can hedge yourself and become more confident.

This is not a must. I had only one offer when I negotiated. You can still work things out. It just helps.

Some people would argue to make up some other offers to leverage this. I feel really negative about this. Yeah, sure, they might not find out and it can get you a higher salary. But I do not think it is worth giving up your integrity and values for.

🕶 Negotiate for a friend
One of the best pieces of advice I received was to imagine negotiating for a friend.

I’m not sure about you but if I would negotiate for a friend, I would do everything I could to fight for their recognition. This means demonstrating their value, asking for significant increases confidently. In the end, I know what my friend is capable of. Yet we don’t do this for ourselves.

Taking this 3rd person view helped me detach and see things more clearly. I believe it can benefit you too.

🔍 Do your research
Going into a negotiation without preparation is a big red flag. Do your research. Understand the salaries of competitors or other companies in the field.

The next question comes: where can I do my research? I did it online and through people. Online you can find stuff on Glassdoor (or even Reddit). Through people, I meant my network. I could ask colleagues and friends about starting salaries and compare them with mine.

🎯 Be specific
Given you have done your research, you can make your request specific. Here is the exact script I used. I hope it will help you as well:

Firstly, thank you very much for the offer. I am grateful for the opportunity to interview and was glad that it had a positive outcome.

I had some time to do some research and found that the companies in the industry (name examples) pay between $35K-$40K for similar positions. Given my previous experience and academic record, I was wondering if we can get the original offer closer to the industry benchmark. I would be proposing an 8.5% increase to match, what are your thoughts on this?

I’m looking forward to hearing from you. Thank you!

😇 Be nice
And my last learning: don’t be rude. Negotiations can become emotionally heated. That’s not a reason to be demanding or disrespectful. Expressing your gratitude for their help, the interview, and the opportunity, using positive language will go a long way.

In the end, this is only the start of a hopefully long relationship.